It snowed today. Not enough to stick to the ground, but it did snow those gentle falling flakes. It actually looked pretty; with the gray clouds enclosing the neighborhood, it looked like one of those snow-globes.
I don't mind the snow for the first part of the season-through the holidays and even a bit into January. Though, growing up in Michigan, my childhood memories were of snow from November through March or so, and lots of it. Our house backed up to a golf course-so we had a huge winter playground for playing, sledding, throwing snowballs etc with our friends. Later, we got into cross country skiing, too. Back then, the cold didn't seem to phase us all that much [only when walking to and from school!], so I did enjoy the winter months back then.
But as an adult it just isn't the same. Having to dig the car out from the snow, scraping off the ice, having to drive to work in the stuff, and later in the winter, the brown trees/landscape, dirty snow, endless cloudy skies, it's a lot of work. Not to mention having to clear off the driveways and sidewalks, bundling up in heavy coats, and having to dig around for hats, scarves, and gloves. Maybe I wouldn't mind it quite so much if it *wasn't* so COLD all the time. I don't like the cold at all, especially with the long months of winter here in Michigan. Maybe I should feel lucky that I don't live in Canada or Alaska.
This dislike of the winter became much more pronounced during the years I lived in North Carolina. We did have winter down there with occasional snow or ice, but it was still much milder and it was a much shorter season. So while living there, I could better appreciate the beauty that snow can provide but not have it last so long.
I'm back in Michigan now. For the time being, I CAN enjoy the yearly novelty of the snow and cold. But I'm also dreaming about being in the tropical south, with the temperatures much more moderate, having blue skies, greenery year-round, living on the ocean with the sand, the crashing of the waves, salt in the air, listening to the sea gulls, searching for sea shells, and wondering what a tropical Christmas would be like. So far, it's only in my imagination, but I really hope that this dream can and will come true someday. So, Santa, this is what I'd like for Christmas, some time in the near future, ok?
Monday, November 26, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
Looking Back and Then Moving On
Today, being the Monday of Thanksgiving week, is the unofficial 22nd anniversary of gaining my freedom from a bad marriage [it became official during Art Fair week the following summer]. The so called marriage lasted 6 1/2 years and that was about 8-9 years too long! I guess with being so young, I thought I was going to be superwoman and make it all work out. Looking back, I'm so glad that it didn't; it was definitely one of the black periods in my life.
So why am I writing about this now? Most likely, since I often mull over it each year, it's something that I need to let go of. I did what I needed to do at the time--save enough $$ for a deposit on an apt, find where I could afford to live, sort MY stuff from the ex's, and make the actual move. It definitely wasn't one of my favorite Thanksgivings that year!
It took me a few more years [and relationships] to learn that I CAN be friends with someone of the opposite sex. That was refreshing to finally learn [yeah, I'm a slow learner]. I've also learned that I actually enjoy having my own space and the freedom in not having to account to anyone else. Not to say that I don't want or need friends because I do, it's just that it's ok [and often fun] to be single!
And I guess that's what I have to be thankful for, free to let go of the past, accept where I am now, and move on.
So why am I writing about this now? Most likely, since I often mull over it each year, it's something that I need to let go of. I did what I needed to do at the time--save enough $$ for a deposit on an apt, find where I could afford to live, sort MY stuff from the ex's, and make the actual move. It definitely wasn't one of my favorite Thanksgivings that year!
It took me a few more years [and relationships] to learn that I CAN be friends with someone of the opposite sex. That was refreshing to finally learn [yeah, I'm a slow learner]. I've also learned that I actually enjoy having my own space and the freedom in not having to account to anyone else. Not to say that I don't want or need friends because I do, it's just that it's ok [and often fun] to be single!
And I guess that's what I have to be thankful for, free to let go of the past, accept where I am now, and move on.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
What Kids Can Do These Days
This past weekend, I went to see the musical that my nephew's in. The play is 'Oklahoma!' and though I knew it was a western, I wasn't familiar with the story line. [For those of you that know the story, my nephew played the part of 'Curly', one of the lead characters.]
Anyway, I was really impressed with Christopher and the rest of the cast; they were really awesome--in the acting as well as all of the singing and dancing [and no, I'm not saying this just because I'm his proud aunt. :-) ].
I really don't see how these kids can memorize all of their lines, learn the songs and dances and such [for a performance that was almost 3 hours long!]. Along with going to school, many of these kids are taking AP classes, other outside activities like sports, other clubs or jobs, and find time to study, to eat, sleep, etc. And so many of them get good grades AND perform so well. There's no way that I could do even half of what these kids are doing these days. Not just this nephew, but all 7 of my nieces and nephews are keeping as busy and are doing so well in their chosen activities.
In some ways, it's sad to see them all grow up so fast but it's also wonderful for me to sit back and watch them develop into the fine individuals that they are. I realize that a lot of people see this sort of thing with their own kids, but me, I don't have the pleasure of having kids of my own. But in so many ways, I think I'm in a better spot since I get to see them doing these things they love [be it performing in a play, a soccer game, or even with their computer games]; I can talk and hang out with them in ways parents can't, yet I don't have to bug them to do their chores, to pay the bills, make them eat their vegetables, or to remind them to brush their teeth before going to bed.
It's cool being an aunt; I just wish I could see them more often. You know kids, though; they have their own lives to live...
Anyway, I was really impressed with Christopher and the rest of the cast; they were really awesome--in the acting as well as all of the singing and dancing [and no, I'm not saying this just because I'm his proud aunt. :-) ].
I really don't see how these kids can memorize all of their lines, learn the songs and dances and such [for a performance that was almost 3 hours long!]. Along with going to school, many of these kids are taking AP classes, other outside activities like sports, other clubs or jobs, and find time to study, to eat, sleep, etc. And so many of them get good grades AND perform so well. There's no way that I could do even half of what these kids are doing these days. Not just this nephew, but all 7 of my nieces and nephews are keeping as busy and are doing so well in their chosen activities.
In some ways, it's sad to see them all grow up so fast but it's also wonderful for me to sit back and watch them develop into the fine individuals that they are. I realize that a lot of people see this sort of thing with their own kids, but me, I don't have the pleasure of having kids of my own. But in so many ways, I think I'm in a better spot since I get to see them doing these things they love [be it performing in a play, a soccer game, or even with their computer games]; I can talk and hang out with them in ways parents can't, yet I don't have to bug them to do their chores, to pay the bills, make them eat their vegetables, or to remind them to brush their teeth before going to bed.
It's cool being an aunt; I just wish I could see them more often. You know kids, though; they have their own lives to live...
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Work & Identity
It seems like in our society, so much of our 'identity' is tied up with what we do for a living. A lot of people feel varying levels of validation based on how the living is earned. Not only in how much we earn [with perceptions of higher pay=higher status], but also in how we view the work we do. Kind of like, is this a 'job' to primarily pay the bills or is it more of a career, doing something we're passionate about? I would hope that doing something we're passionate about, regardless of pay, would add to the positive views of who we are and what we might want to become. Is this making any sense [as I'm rambling on...]?
This past week, I've been mulling over these issues and am trying to look at the bigger picture. We're more than just the jobs we do to provide an income, more than 'just' being a parent, someone's kid or sibling, etc. There's the stuff we enjoy doing outside of work-- hobbies, cooking, things we do with friends, volunteering for your favorite cause... If we're so tied up/involved with the paid work we do, do we alsso value the other parts of what makes us tick? Or do we even know what those other parts or values are? Are these other 'things' even important?
All of these questions are bouncing around in my head right now because I've been on disability for a few years. And though I struggled in my last few work years due to health issues, not contributing was [and is] still a struggle to deal with. Adding to that is [mostly] well-meaning family and friends that try to convince me I 'should' return to being an employee somewhere. However, this is not a viable option.
Early in the year, though, I hooked up with a Social Securtity-approved vocational rehab center and was assigned a case worker to assist in finding a job. We met every 4-6 weeks and concluded that work woudn't work for me. Now, since I no longer need her assistance, this past Monday we closed out my case.
Shouldn't I be relieved that another professional agrees? I am. But I'm sad, too. I'm fully aware of the harm work could do to me but the door way on the other side of the room was still slightly ajar, waiting for me to go through and land that elusive perfect job. Now the northern winds have blown through, slamming that door shut with no means to escape.
So how can I change or add to my identity now? One of the things could be to brainstorm a list of what things I've always wanted to try and, if money was not an issue, learn as much as I can on one or two of these things. Maybe collect news articles,maps, brochures... Find or make some sort of artistic representation and put them these together and create a 'dream' book/journal [and continue to do the same with other ideas]. Take a class, read, talk with others that aren't working and identify areas that you have in common and the differences. Ask what sort of qualities, values, interests they have.... It can add new perspectives.
I'm trying to process how this identity will change as I grow up. [Do I even WANT to grow up? Well, enough of this going on and on; this can be a separate posting some other day.] In the meantime, just spend some time in just being.
This past week, I've been mulling over these issues and am trying to look at the bigger picture. We're more than just the jobs we do to provide an income, more than 'just' being a parent, someone's kid or sibling, etc. There's the stuff we enjoy doing outside of work-- hobbies, cooking, things we do with friends, volunteering for your favorite cause... If we're so tied up/involved with the paid work we do, do we alsso value the other parts of what makes us tick? Or do we even know what those other parts or values are? Are these other 'things' even important?
All of these questions are bouncing around in my head right now because I've been on disability for a few years. And though I struggled in my last few work years due to health issues, not contributing was [and is] still a struggle to deal with. Adding to that is [mostly] well-meaning family and friends that try to convince me I 'should' return to being an employee somewhere. However, this is not a viable option.
Early in the year, though, I hooked up with a Social Securtity-approved vocational rehab center and was assigned a case worker to assist in finding a job. We met every 4-6 weeks and concluded that work woudn't work for me. Now, since I no longer need her assistance, this past Monday we closed out my case.
Shouldn't I be relieved that another professional agrees? I am. But I'm sad, too. I'm fully aware of the harm work could do to me but the door way on the other side of the room was still slightly ajar, waiting for me to go through and land that elusive perfect job. Now the northern winds have blown through, slamming that door shut with no means to escape.
So how can I change or add to my identity now? One of the things could be to brainstorm a list of what things I've always wanted to try and, if money was not an issue, learn as much as I can on one or two of these things. Maybe collect news articles,maps, brochures... Find or make some sort of artistic representation and put them these together and create a 'dream' book/journal [and continue to do the same with other ideas]. Take a class, read, talk with others that aren't working and identify areas that you have in common and the differences. Ask what sort of qualities, values, interests they have.... It can add new perspectives.
I'm trying to process how this identity will change as I grow up. [Do I even WANT to grow up? Well, enough of this going on and on; this can be a separate posting some other day.] In the meantime, just spend some time in just being.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
More Reading Tips
Continued from yesterday... Some of these ideas are common sense but heck, who says I *have* any common sense? :-) Ignore these as you see fit.
-Make reading a challenge. Maybe a couple books a week, a chapter every day, 40 books in a year. Whatever it is to keep you reading without being overwhelming or feeling that it's a chore.
-Cut back on tv and online reading. I guess we need to make time somehow!
-Join a book club. Check out what the library or local bookstores have to offer. If you know other book-lovers, think about starting your own book club. I've been in a bookstore club as well as with friends; it's always interesting to get other people's interpretation of the reading material. If nothing else, check out some of the online forums. And a lot of authors have their own websites.
-Always carry a book with you. We never know when we'll get stuck waiting somewhere; use this bit of time as an escape.
-Read what you can't put down. That'll keep us going! On the same notion, if you're not enjoying the book, don't feel obligated to finish it!
-Always have books to read. This author said that he usually has at least 5 books from his list on-hand. If you get yours from the library, get several at one time. Or, if you're like me and want to OWN them [after all, they're friends who've poured their hearts out to me], check out the used bookstores, resale shops [I recently got a few from the Salvation Army store], or your library's 'Friends of the Library' sale. My local library's 'friends' store is open a few hours, 6 days a week!
-Connect with your passions. Not just a passion to read more books but to stay connected to whatever else floats your boat.
[I probably should add here that eachl suggestion is the author Leo from Zen Habits, as mentioned yesterday. But in most of the posts, I've added my 2 cents worth as well. I also didn't include every single one.]
If any of you have other ideas and/or specific titles or authors to recommend, please do so here in the comments section. I'd love to hear and probably want to read them, too!
-Make reading a challenge. Maybe a couple books a week, a chapter every day, 40 books in a year. Whatever it is to keep you reading without being overwhelming or feeling that it's a chore.
-Cut back on tv and online reading. I guess we need to make time somehow!
-Join a book club. Check out what the library or local bookstores have to offer. If you know other book-lovers, think about starting your own book club. I've been in a bookstore club as well as with friends; it's always interesting to get other people's interpretation of the reading material. If nothing else, check out some of the online forums. And a lot of authors have their own websites.
-Always carry a book with you. We never know when we'll get stuck waiting somewhere; use this bit of time as an escape.
-Read what you can't put down. That'll keep us going! On the same notion, if you're not enjoying the book, don't feel obligated to finish it!
-Always have books to read. This author said that he usually has at least 5 books from his list on-hand. If you get yours from the library, get several at one time. Or, if you're like me and want to OWN them [after all, they're friends who've poured their hearts out to me], check out the used bookstores, resale shops [I recently got a few from the Salvation Army store], or your library's 'Friends of the Library' sale. My local library's 'friends' store is open a few hours, 6 days a week!
-Connect with your passions. Not just a passion to read more books but to stay connected to whatever else floats your boat.
[I probably should add here that eachl suggestion is the author Leo from Zen Habits, as mentioned yesterday. But in most of the posts, I've added my 2 cents worth as well. I also didn't include every single one.]
If any of you have other ideas and/or specific titles or authors to recommend, please do so here in the comments section. I'd love to hear and probably want to read them, too!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Becoming a Bookworm
In my previous post, I mentioned my intent to do more reading. So it was appropriate that I came across a post that has a few suggestions to help with this. So many of us have the goal to read more but with all of the distractions out there, reading time often gets neglected. The info came from an article by 'Leo' of Zen Habits [I haven't checked the rest if the site out yet, though]... Maybe these ideas will help more than just me. :-)
--Make it a habit to read at certain time[s] every day, even if its for only 10-20 minutes. If you do some reading before or during breakfast, as an afternoon refresher break, and before retiring for the evening, that's already half an hour or more a day. Even with this minimum allottment of time adds up to 3 1/2+ hours a week!
--Keep a reading list - in an online document or a notebook or journal [There are always stuff I want to read but unless I write them down, I won't remember them when I'm at the bookstore or library.] List the title and author and perhaps where you heard about the book [from a review, a friend, if it was given to you by someone...]. When I see others reading a book, often I'll approach and ask what they're reading and what they think of it. This gives me ideas that I may not have considered before; that's always cool. And the author suggested having a running book list to motivate us to keep reading.
--Keep a book log of what you've read. Make it as simple or as detailed as you'd like. Start with the title and author and consider adding a summary or comments and perhaps when you started and/or finished it.
I'll add a few more of these tips later on in a separate posting...
--Make it a habit to read at certain time[s] every day, even if its for only 10-20 minutes. If you do some reading before or during breakfast, as an afternoon refresher break, and before retiring for the evening, that's already half an hour or more a day. Even with this minimum allottment of time adds up to 3 1/2+ hours a week!
--Keep a reading list - in an online document or a notebook or journal [There are always stuff I want to read but unless I write them down, I won't remember them when I'm at the bookstore or library.] List the title and author and perhaps where you heard about the book [from a review, a friend, if it was given to you by someone...]. When I see others reading a book, often I'll approach and ask what they're reading and what they think of it. This gives me ideas that I may not have considered before; that's always cool. And the author suggested having a running book list to motivate us to keep reading.
--Keep a book log of what you've read. Make it as simple or as detailed as you'd like. Start with the title and author and consider adding a summary or comments and perhaps when you started and/or finished it.
I'll add a few more of these tips later on in a separate posting...
Sunday, November 4, 2007
My Commandments
I was reading a blog last evening [the author is working on a 'happiness project'; I do need to go back to her site and read more of what she has to say about this topic; I'm sure I can learn something from it. :-)
On this site, she lists her commandments, kind of like those resolutions that we try and work on at the beginning of each year. Though I didn't write any of hers down, it got me wondering about what kinds of things I can focus on along this journey. So here are a few that I just came up with. I'm sure they'll need a bit of tweaking here and there and I'll probably come up with others, but this is a start. And those of you that may be reading this post, feel free to come up with some of your own. You don't have to share them here in the comments section but please do if you're so inclined. I'd like the company. :-)
1. Identify. I dentify those thoughts and feelings that I tend to supress. Take action on the important ones and let go of the rest.
2.Read. Always make time to read; there are all kinds of worlds out there to discover.
3. Create. Find some meants of being creative and/or artistic at least once a week. Do it.
4. Connect. On a daily basis, find a way to connect in some tangible way with any of the following: Another person, other thoughts and ideas to identify with, or finding other ways to do something new or different that I may benefit or grow.
5. Positive. Begin to think more positively so that I can BE more positive [this will take some working on].
On this site, she lists her commandments, kind of like those resolutions that we try and work on at the beginning of each year. Though I didn't write any of hers down, it got me wondering about what kinds of things I can focus on along this journey. So here are a few that I just came up with. I'm sure they'll need a bit of tweaking here and there and I'll probably come up with others, but this is a start. And those of you that may be reading this post, feel free to come up with some of your own. You don't have to share them here in the comments section but please do if you're so inclined. I'd like the company. :-)
1. Identify. I dentify those thoughts and feelings that I tend to supress. Take action on the important ones and let go of the rest.
2.Read. Always make time to read; there are all kinds of worlds out there to discover.
3. Create. Find some meants of being creative and/or artistic at least once a week. Do it.
4. Connect. On a daily basis, find a way to connect in some tangible way with any of the following: Another person, other thoughts and ideas to identify with, or finding other ways to do something new or different that I may benefit or grow.
5. Positive. Begin to think more positively so that I can BE more positive [this will take some working on].
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