Waiting

It's been almost a month since my last post; I didn't intend to go this long in between each one. However, I've been occupied with other life events so even when I AM home, whether I'm tired or not, I've been somewhat preoccupied.

I don't remember right now if I've posted in this blog that a big part of why I moved back to Michigan a couple years ago was to help care for my mother who's been ill for for 4-5 years now [with a form of dementia, similar in some ways to alzheimer's but since this kind affects a different part of the brain, there are a number of differences, as well].

For the last couple years I've been here, she'll be in one phase for awhile, go down some and hang out at that phase for awhile, then down a bit more. Well, she's been going down rapidly over the past few weeks to the point where now, we're probably talking only in terms of days instead of weeks or months. She is at home though hospice does come out several times a week [more as needed]. So I'm going there on a daily basis at this point. Though she may know that people are with her, she's not responding to us; I guess I'm there more for myself at this point.

I think it'll be a relief when this is all over. Though afterwards, I know I'm going to have a big void. Not just because my mom will be gone, but also my 'purpose' for the last couple years will be done and I'll have to figure out what's next. I'm on disability, so working for pay isn't an option. And I don't like the Michigan winters. But without much in the line of $$, who knows what'll happen; I certainly don't!